


Bigby Hates Shopping

by Deathofwords



Category: Fables - Willingham, The Wolf Among Us
Genre: Based off of Brandon Rogers, Bigby is a shitty dad, F/M, Funny, Im currently high rn so, The children are mischievious, grocery store shopping, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 16:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15100892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathofwords/pseuds/Deathofwords
Summary: “Put that candy back, Winter!” Bigby huffed out from behind the metal cart.“Im not buying you any of that crap—!”Winter responded by throwing the bag of candy at his face. Bigby growled, his six children giggling loudly. He pointed at Winter.“SANTA IS WATCHING YOU, ASSHOLE!”——————————————-





	Bigby Hates Shopping

“Put that candy back, Winter!” Bigby huffed out from behind the metal cart.

“Im not buying you any of that crap—!”

Winter responded by throwing the bag of candy at his face. Bigby growled, his six children giggling loudly. He pointed at Winter.

“SANTA IS WATCHING YOU, ASSHOLE!”

 

——————————————-

 

“I don’t want this anymore,” Bigby declared loudly as he pushed a bag of chips behind a row of medication.

 

“Daddy, Don’t do that!” Therese yelled from behind him, a loud noise forthcoming from the action.

 

Darien sighed.

 

“Too late...”

 

————————————-

 

“I wish Mommy was here.” Blossom whimpered.

 

“Why?” Bigby asked her as he examined a bottle of shampoo.

 

“Because Mommy is not as stupid or crazy as you.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

——————————————

 

As Bigby tossed something into the cart, four of his children had ‘accidentally’ toppled over a metal net of balls, About fifty of them now rolling freely across the waxed floor.

 

Bigby glared.

 

“You are all the reason why I am pro-choice.”

 

——————————————

 

“Daddy look!” Winter cried as she shoved him a bouquet of flowers. “Aren’t they pretty?”

 

Bigby pushed them away from him.

 

“I don’t want no damn flowers.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because Im allergic, you want me to pass?”

 

————————————

 

“Hey, Asswipe!”

 

Bigby turned to the direction of the voice to see a pissed off looking Gren; Whom had tossed a book at him, knocking Bigby over along with the cart. His children squealed with anger and delight as Bigby screamed in rage.

 

“YOU WANNA GET YOUR SHIT PUSHED IN!?”

 

——————————————

 

“Daddy can I get this?” Conner asked from behind him.

 

“Hm?”

 

Bigby turned to see one of his three sons holding a roll of wrapping paper up.

 

“The hell you want wrapping paper for your fuckin’ seven.”


End file.
